North

So my friend and I are on the balcony, smoking a cig after blazing and this conversation happens.

Aaron: So… when you’re lost in the woods… and they tell you to go north… why?
Me: with a holy-shit look on my face   dude! 
Aaron: Like wtf are you going to run into? Canada?

And then we died of laughter. 

oh shit man, you look like…

High as shit after hitting a blunt and a million bowl packs with my good friends in my room

Lauren: Dude, you know who you look like?

Suly: What the fuck?

Lauren You look like Count Dracula from Sesame Street!!!!

Me: Oh shit, you do! You do!

Maya: Hahahahahahaha

Lauren: Dude, will you start talking like him?

Suly: What the hell, no!

Me: Start counting! You do look like him!

Lauren: ONE, TWO, THWREE, FOURR, FWIVE, SWIX…with that little accent! 

hahahaahysterical laughter

you know you’re high when…

(via texts)

Me: “Guess who is”

C: “…high?”

Blow Up Dolls

Brother: Yeah this fucker was bragging about his blow up dolls.

Me: That’s definitely something you don’t go around telling people about Diego.

Brother: You’re sick bro.

Diego: Whatever bitch.

Brother: You are! I bet you fucking strangle them then slit there throat and watch them deflate slowly.

i’d go to a séance for george clinton

Biz: Want to come to my séance tomorrow?

Me: Who’s it for?

Biz: George Cl…(unintelligible)

Me: George Clinton or George Clooney? Because they are both still alive…

Biz: I meant to say George Washington. Damn I am high.

Stoned play

(My friend and I go to a play after smoking a bowl)

My friend: Can we get tickets?

Guy at the counter: Yeah!

(Takes about 10 minutes to get the tickets)

Me: *looks at my friend* The fuck is taking soooo long?

My friend: *shakes her head*

Me: …*starts giggling* This is ridiculous! *starts cracking up*

My friend: Shut up! Ohmygod, shhhhhhhh.

Me: *laughs so much more*

(it was ridiculous, it took 20 minutes for the guy to get us tickets) 

[Alex, Austin and I were all talking about something on the couch. There’s a silence, then..]

Alex [looks at Austin]: Dude, have you ever been high and just randomnly had a boner when you’re having a conversation?

Austin: … [stares]

Me: [bursts into laughter]

Alex: No, really! [stands up; has obvious boner.] Has that ever happ-

Austin: Dude.. [puts his hand over his face.]

Me: [falling onto the floor laughing]

Austin: Why do you have a boner, man?!

Alex: I DON’T KNOW!

Me: [rolling around on the floor, laughing]

North

So my friend and I are on the balcony, smoking a cig after blazing and this conversation happens.

Aaron: So… when you’re lost in the woods… and they tell you to go north… why?
Me: with a holy-shit look on my face   dude! 
Aaron: Like wtf are you going to run into? Canada?

And then we died of laughter. 

oh shit man, you look like…

High as shit after hitting a blunt and a million bowl packs with my good friends in my room

Lauren: Dude, you know who you look like?

Suly: What the fuck?

Lauren You look like Count Dracula from Sesame Street!!!!

Me: Oh shit, you do! You do!

Maya: Hahahahahahaha

Lauren: Dude, will you start talking like him?

Suly: What the hell, no!

Me: Start counting! You do look like him!

Lauren: ONE, TWO, THWREE, FOURR, FWIVE, SWIX…with that little accent! 

hahahaahysterical laughter

be careful!

mom: *gets up to use the bathroom*

me: MOM! WHERE U GOIN?!

mom: downstairs to use the bathroom …

me: BE CAREFUL!